CHIBATRON

Ophelia Goes to School:

Any average high schooler will tell you– it is the last five minutes of your last class that is the longest. On this particular day, (by that I really mean today) not only did I have a ‘visiting teacher’ (*retired physics cronie) but she was also was from Geeoorgia, speaking in a slow southern drawl, and claimed to be ‘as old as dirt’. I spent the afternoon in my AP English class filling out the tedious multiple choice-ed questions from whatever racist 19th century author’s exerpt my teacher had put into his lesson plan. The class had gone by relatively quickly since I spent most of it wearing the spy glasses of the person next to me that allowed you to be able to see what’s behind you, and playing fun games like ‘what face am I making now?’ with the person behind me. It was about this time that I decided it was time for a quick clock check. It was 3:10! Only 5 minutes away from the glorious 3:15 when I could escape the oppressive cell they call High School. However, this was also a two-fold: as it was these last five minutes that were infamous for their longevity. So heres where my anecdote comes to an end and I get to my point, dear chibatron reader…this is what happens during the hour-long last five minutes sitting awkwardly in my seat like a little Minion girl waiting for the bell the ring:

2:10-2:10:30 - stare at the left hand of the clock thinking about what I wanted to eat after school. (a veggie-filled sandwich)

2:10:45-2:12 - noticed an unnecessarily long and globby piece of gum dangling from the bottom of the desk in front of me and thought about the chubby fingers that must have stuck it there.

2:12- attempt to send a secretive text message but there was no service.

2:12:30-2:13- watch the really indie girl next to me listen to her ipod and wonder what she was listening to…

2:13-2:14 - listen to the substitute teacher talk about how she was on her ‘mid-life (but really more like end of life) adventure’ and plans to relinquish her fear of heights by going on a hot air balloon with her daughter this summer.

2:14:10 - look at the at the clock…only a minute left!

2:14:20-2:14:45 - think about what it would be like if Joseph Stalin ever had a little puppy and what he would name it….

3:15 - my thoughts are interrupted as I hear my favorite sound of the bell. I throw my (very aerodynamic) massager bag over my shoulder while simultaneously power walking down the isle. (always dodge the slow ones that take their time getting out of their seats….one for all and all for one, ya know?)

Until next time,

Ophelia.